Why Is This Happening?

Posted by Moxie on September 8th, 2010

Child actress Willow Smith attends a Japan premiere for the film The Karate Kid in Tokyo, Japan, on August 5, 2010.   UPI/Keizo Mori Photo via Newscom

Guh. Just when you thought it was safe to dip a toe back into the waters of pop culture without wanting to let the depths deliver sweet, merciful death…here’s the latest snaggle-toothed tween to leave you bloody and bewildered (but no more so than at the hands of that belabored metaphor). Will Smith has decided to propel yet another one of his offspring to superstar status, although I’ll forgive him a little bit for foisting Willow upon us, because at least she seems to have a personality, even if she did steal it from Rihanna. She’s secretly kind of awesome for a 9-year-old, but I’m not sure that entitles her to release a song:

It sounds like pretty much every club song to come out of the Autotune mill: a lotta Rihanna, a little Lil Wayne, shades of Ludacris. I’m not saying I wouldn’t dance to it when I was drunk because, duh, obvs I would, but is it too much to ask that our popstars be old enough to ride in the front seat of a car before they’re exposed to the life of a celebrity? Before you know it, she’ll have her own TV show, then a line of clothes at Wal-Mart, and bam! Crackhead. You know, the usual.

Category: Lil Wayne, Moxie, Rihanna