‘Vampire Diaries’ Recap: 162 Candles, 162 Years Forever Young

Posted by ariel on November 6th, 2009

Once again the writers of Vamp-Di take the will-they-won’t-they sexual tension to new heights. Just about every episode since Elena found out she’s infatuated with the undead has been replete with “you’re too dangerous for me” this and “I can’t keep away from you” that. But ut I find I don’t care—it’s way more fun than when the characters actually get together. Besides it’s always good to have a dose of reality in the fantastical to keep us grounded and what’s more true-to-life than a fickle teenage girl? Last episode, in the tease of all teases, Elena broke up with Stefan by saying “I don’t want to feel like this. But I can’t. With everything that’s happened, I can’t lose the way I feel about you.” If Stefan can stand such flip-flopping after over 100 years of apparent chastity then the man isn’t a vampire, he’s a saint.

Tall, dark and Vampire

In further wishy-washiness, Elena and her perfect hair decide to pay Stefan a visit after breaking up with him. To her horror she is greeted by Lexi, Stefan’s centuries-old platonic BFF, scantily clad and fresh from the shower and shockingly gets the wrong idea. Elena finally gets some girl-talk in with Bonnie—though whether it’s an acting choice or not Elena seems ever show much emotion. Not a tear slips when talking about her break-up and she doesn’t go into any stage of shock when Bonnie reveals she’s a witch by turning the room into a blizzard of pillow feathers. Even if I had dated a vampire I think I would have at least cocked a surprised eyebrow. If capriciousness is Elena’s only teenage girl trait—Damon more than makes up for it: he wants parties, he wants jewelry and he smack talks better than Blair.

First he coerces Caroline into throwing a party as a staging ground to blame the recent vamp attacks on someone else. Caroline fails to steal back the gem for Damon, (it shocks her as she grabs it, leading her to ask if Bonnie is sporting polyester) and so Damon goes all Mean Girls on her:

Caroline: It’s just some stupid necklace.
Damon: You are the only stupid thing here.

Caroline drowns her sorrows and collapses drunkenly on Matt (who wouldn’t?!) in a hilarious bout of self-realization she says: I’m not just shallow. I’m a kiddie pool.

Caroline and Damon once again win with the best lines of the night, a night that just so happens to be Stefan’s 162nd birthday… but we’re the ones that get the gift: Stefan finally flashes us some pearly whites! He appears to be enjoying himself for the first time in like ever and it sort of suits him. Crazy Lexi gives us a glimpse of a less broody Stefan, but a Stefan that likes to party is a bit more than my imagination can muster, I would have loved some vintage flashblacks Vamp-Di did so well in a previous episode. Lexi and Elena go heart to heart and the party Vampiress ends up convincing Elena that love and Stefan are once in a lifetime, even for the immortal. But before Elena can change her mind again, shizz goes down at the party.

Damon and Elena and her perfect hair

After Damon bit and ran to throw the sheriff of his vampy scent, a helpless girl is left with an altered memory of who bit her boy. When the sheriff comes in to arrest a Vampire, they take Lexi instead of the true perp. But Lexi gets all veiny and fangy so Damon heroically steps in and stakes her, while Stefan and Elena watch in horror. He’s won over the sheriff but Stefan is pissed off like we haven’t seen him yet and it’s his turn to tell Elena to stay away. Away from what? Is he finally going to man up and kill the guy who stole his girl? Killed his uncle? Turned his girl’s friend? Threatens to kill his new girl EVERY EPISODE? … Nope! Damon gets a warning stake to the stomach, but if I know Damon, and I like to think I do, this is not going to stop his biting, blood-sucking and other vicious vampire proclivities… for more on that we’ll just have to wait for next week.

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Category: TV recaps, Vampire Diaries