Update: Paris Hilton’s MENSA Membership Revoked

Posted by Moxie on August 30th, 2010

44100, LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - August 24, 2010. Booking photo of Paris Hilton, who was arrested late Friday night in Las Vegas on possession of cocaine. According to police, Paris was the passenger in a vehicle that was pulled over by police just outside the Wynn Hotel. The driver was arrested for DUI (drug-related, not alcohol) and after conducting a search of the car and Hilton, they found her in possession of a controlled substance. According to Police, tests revealed the substance to be cocaine. The hotel heiress was arrested and released on her own recognizance. Paris' boyfriend, Cy Waits, was also arrested and booked on a charge of DUI. PacificCoastNews.com   Disclaimer: BWP Media Inc and their brand Pacific Coast News does not claim any Copyright or License in the attached material. Any downloading fees charged by BWP Media Inc and their brand Pacific Coast News are for its services only, and do not, nor are they intended to convey to the user any Copyright or License in the material. By publishing this material , the user expressly agrees to indemnify and to hold BWP Media Inc and their brand Pacific Coast News harmless from any claims, demands, or causes of action arising out of or connected in any way with user's publication of the material.

Paris Hilton is the celebrity equivalent of the Bugblatter Beast of Traal: she’s so deluded that she thinks if she believes what she’s saying, then you will, too, despite ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY. Her “It’s not my coke” story just got better; now she’s saying that a) the coke isn’t hers, b) the purse it fell out of isn’t hers, c) although, yes, some of the stuff is hers, like the cash, credit cards, and rolling papers, and d) she thought the coke was gum, anyway.

Right. Because people just carry around gum in POWDER FORM in a PLASTIC BAG and wouldn’t think to TAKE IT OUT OF THE PURSE SHE’S LENDING TO A COKEHEAD LIKE PARIS HILTON. Bitch needs to get her skinny ass and tranny-feet into some regulation prison couture FAST. She got caught with .8 grams of coke, which could land her in jail for up to four years, but I would be satisfied if she was there for 6 months – just long enough for her wonk-eye to go permanently askew.

(In an earlier story, we reported that the coke was found in Hilton’s purse when she opened her bag for ID at a traffic stop; turns out the dummy opened her bag in the holding room to get lip balm, and the bag practically flung itself into the officers hand. So clearly God hasn’t stopped answering my prayers entirely.)

Category: Celebrity Arrests, Drugs, Legal Woes, Moxie, Paris Hilton