The Situation Gives BP The Business

Posted by Moxie on July 14th, 2010

NEW YORK - JULY 13: Michael 'The Situation' Sorrentino attends the 'Jersey Shore' album release party at Marquee on July 13, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images)

Actually, “The Business” would be a great Jersey Shore nickname, but in this case, it’s just The Situation’s opinion on the way the BP oil spill will affect beach culture. And regardless of how you feel about his expertise on things like fragrances, clothing, rap, women, or not being a huge creeper, you have to admit that if there’s anything he knows besides GTL, it’s beaches. So what does Mike ” The Doctor of Sociological Situations” Sorrentino think will happen because of the spill? Here’s the interview:

How do you think the oil spill is going to affect beach culture in America?
Wow, that’s a good question. Very good question. Can we repeat that for a second? Let me hear that one again.

You want to take a deep breath?
Yeah, I’ll take a breath. Let me hear that one again.

How is the oil spill going to affect beach culture in America?
You know what, obviously the oil spill is definitely going to affect beach culture in America for probably a number of years, I would surmise. It will probably affect a lot of kids, in not a good way.

I’m surprised he was able to fit that amount of well-reasoned thought into such a short answer. I never would have thought a lot of kids would be affected “not in a good way.” Is there any chance we can get him to further “surmise” in some sort of official academic context? And while he’s at it, he should do some surmising on why God saying “Let there be light!” included the potential for melanoma; which came first: the chicken or the chicken strip; and how Snooki’s bump continually defies basic laws of physics and good taste. All to be peer reviewed by Sammi “Sweetbrain” Giancola, Angelina “The Stephen Hawking of Staten Island” Pivarnick, and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, the medical marvel who is somehow able to drink, speak, and dance stupidly despite not having a neck.

Category: Celebrity Stupidity, Jersey Shore, Moxie, Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi, Snooki, Television