Lindsay Lohan Thinks She’s Velma Kelly

Posted by Moxie on July 12th, 2010

Looking like she's got a little sass back in her step, Lindsay Lohan returns home with her mother Dina Lohan after visiting a potential new attorney for Lindsay's case in Los angeles, Ca on July 10, 2010. Fame Pictures, Inc

It turns out that instead of accepting this opportunity as a chance to learn from her mistakes and grow as a human being, Lindsay Lohan has decided to keep being an entitled bitch who is dumb as a post, to boot. I, for one, am STUNNED.

Lilo has come to the conclusion that her 180-day jail/rehab sentence was the fault of her legal representation and had nothing to do with the fact that she DROVE DRUNK then BAILED on her second-chance classes while continuing to DRINK and DO DRUGS where people could SEE HER RARRRRRGH Moxie go crazy, SMASH freckled bimbo! God, what a moron.

So now Lindz has met with some lawyer from Chicago to represent her because she has no intention of going to jail. A supposed friend of Lindsay’s told PopEater:

“She is paying her new lawyer a fortune to fix this mess. She doesn’t care what it takes. If Lindsay needs to start a Facebook campaign or set up protests or something like that she is totally into it. They are treating Lindsay differently because she is a star, so it’s about time she used her star power to help her. She’s seen the movie Chicago several time, so it’s not like she doesn’t know how this sort of thing works.”

You mean paying Mama Morton in sexual favors? Because Queen Latifah would probably be up for that.

I have a question for my lovely readers, so I’m putting it to a poll:

[poll id=”105″]

Update! The Chicago lawyer has decided not to take the case, basically because the Lohan family is too demanding. He also thinks Lindsay is a “fragile lost child” without the slightest understanding of consequences or personal responsibility. Pssh, he had to meet with them to figure that out? The Lohans are better off without him because clearly his powers of observation are lacking.

Category: Legal Woes, Lindsay Lohan, Lohan Family, Moxie