Lindsay Lohan Is Literate(ish)

Posted by Moxie on July 8th, 2010

She can’t tweet worth a damn, but it turns out Lindsay Lohan knows how to use a pen for more than sucking up coke. As she left the courtroom after being sentenced to 90 days in jail and another 90 days in rehab, Lindsay held up her notes to hide from the paps. Considering what was written on her nail, one would expect doodles, incoherent ramblings, and maybe some pornographic sketches, but the notes were surprisingly comprehensive. She does that thing of writing in all uppercase that I hate, but I gotta admit, that’s some darn tidy handwriting and impressive detail.

Most of the time it’s nearly impossible that Lohan was a straight-A student in high school, who was reportedly a math and science whiz (just like Cady Heron!), but every once in awhile she reminds you. It doesn’t necessarily make me sad when I see pretty or talented people going to waste, but it does bum me out when smart people let themselves get so messed up. C’mon, Lilo, you’re never going to get me to say this more than once, so listen up: you can be more than a bratty substance abusing wench! Get yourself cleaned up, show some humility and personal responsibility, find a decent script, and then we can talk.

Category: Celebrity Trainwrecks, Legal Woes, Lindsay Lohan, Moxie