Laurence Fishburne’s Daughter To Star In Porn Video

Posted by Moxie on July 31st, 2010

Red, blue, or purple pill? Whatta choice. I doubt Laurence Fishburne spends much time trolling for pr0n because a) he’s married to warrior-hottie Gina Torres and b) he’s so classy that he probably prefers antique Victorian etchings, anyway – but if he did happen to be into the finest offerings of Florida’s trailer parks and strip-club rejections, I can guarantee this would stop him in a jiff: his 19-year-old daughter will be releasing a video with Vivid Entertainment. If there was a chance that someone I was related to was out there banging randoms on film, I would do everything possible to avoid seeing the evidence, including building a time machine that would allow me to go back and kill the Internet in its infancy.

But as icky as that news is, what’s even ickier is her reason why. Montana Fishburne (well, Jesus, you name your kid after a location, she’s definitely going to be a porn star) said in a press release:

“I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape by Vivid. I’m hoping the same magic will work for me. I’m impatient about getting well-known and having more opportunities and this seemed like a great way to get started on it.”

Uh. Your dad is MORPHEUS FROM THE MATRIX. You’ve got the connections to break into the business, and if you had any talent that wasn’t located under a landing strip, you would have been just fine. Plus, Kim Kardashian may be a dumb slut, but pretty much anyone can admit that she’s a knockout; you, on the other hand, inherited Dad’s face, which is great for a talented actor, but on a no-talent wannabe just looks like someone smacked a harelip with an iron skillet.




Category: Celebrity sex tapes, Moxie