James Blunt Is A Hero, So Please Pay Attention To Him Again

Posted by Moxie on November 15th, 2010

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Hey, remember James Blunt? No? Sure you do! He’s that albino, rat-faced British singer who banged a bunch of supermodels after writing the most boner-killing love song of all time. Here, let me refresh your memory/depress your libido:

You know what gets aroused by that video? Icelandic rodents, dwelling deep within a glacier, who don’t even have ears and experience sound purely through the vibrations. And even they’re like, “…Weak sauce, dude.”

Anyway. Even if he is right up there on the list of reasons to choose deaf over blind in a game of Would You Rather, it turns out that James Blunt might have saved the ENTIRE WORLD. Blunt recently told the BBC that when he was in the Army (I know, right?), he was given orders to secure a Kosovo airfield that had already been taken over by Russian forces:

“I was given the direct command to overpower the 200 or so Russians who were there. I was the lead officer with my troop of men behind us… We had 200 Russians lined up pointing their weapons at us aggressively, which was… and you know we’d been told to reach the airfield and take a hold of it.

“Fortunately, up on the radio came Gen Mike Jackson, whose exact words at the time were, ‘I’m not going to have my soldiers be responsible for starting World War III,’ and told us why don’t we sugar off down the road, you know, encircle the airfield instead.”

Well, praise heaven for that. I’m glad, James Blunt, that instead of getting me killed by a Russian nuclear bomb, you gave me the chance to live and be raped in the ears by your music. No, no, that was a good choice, THANKS.

Category: Celebrity Heroes