If Betty White Joins “Twilight,” I Quit Everything

Posted by Moxie on July 3rd, 2010

NEW YORK - JUNE 14: Actress Betty White attends the 'Hot in Cleveland' premiere at the Crosby Street Hotel on June 14, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images)

Wall-eyed greaseball Robert Pattinson and prissy-faced prettyboy Kellan Lutz have fallen into raptures about Betty White taking a role in the Breaking Dawn movies, and even though I would murder everything in the face if that happened, they were actually kind of funny about it. Pattinson nominated Betty to play Renesmee (no energy to explain) and Lutz suggested that they do it Benjamin Button-style, with both his and Taylor Lautner’s characters vying for her affections. Stephenie Meyer has said that she would love to have White cameo as a member of the Volturi, which is almost a good enough idea that I don’t want to give her any credit for it.

Despite the tiniest glimmer of promise there, I just….Gah. This is…not good. You can’t just combine any two pop culture obsessions and strike gold. Adding something good to shit really just increases the volume, not the quality, of the shit, you know? Betty White in a Twilight movie is like getting chocolate all up in her peanut butter, only secretly they’ve replaced the chocolate with the feces of a goat in intestinal distress.

Category: Movie News, Moxie, Robert Pattinson, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, Twilight: Breaking Dawn