Batshit Celeb of the Day: Madonna Has a DNA Sterilization Team

Posted by PZ on June 25th, 2012

Think Madonna is probably a normal nice lady behind all that botox and faux British accent? Think again. Apparently, she thinks even a drop of her DNA may be valuable – like a hair, drop of saliva or a piece of skin, because someone might clone her or something (not that they need to, because we already have Lady Gaga). She has employed a DNA Sterilization Team who are in charge of living out her paranoid fantasies by cleaning up every drop of Madonna, as well as keeping her protected from potential spies. A  concert promoter arranging Madonna’s arrival in Portugal revealed just how weird shit gets:

“We have to take extreme care, like I have never seen for any other artist. We cannot even look at the dressing room, after it is ready, or even open the door. We can only enter after her sterilisation team has left the room. There will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair, or anything. They will clean up ­everything. In the end it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable. I do understand it, but it is taken to extremes.”

The promoter goes on to ramble on about how Madonna’s team even make fake rooms so cameras can’t be hidden in the walls:

“Her team will build everything for her, including fake ceilings and fake walls, so they can ensure that no one has hidden a camera somewhere.”

This sounds like a Sci-Fi movie gone horribly wrong – someone say this isn’t real?




Category: Madonna