American Idol’s Brush-Cut To Be Replaced With Bandana-Weave?

Posted by Moxie on May 29th, 2010

2010 American Idol Grand Finale

Bret Michaels might be on the short-list to replace Simon Cowell now that the delightfully saucy Brit has departed American Idol for the richer shores of The X-Factor. Cowell supposedly said about the suggested replacement, “Actually, he’d be good. He’s funny. He’s got experience. He’d be a good choice – and you saw the audience reaction to him. They love him.”

Can I just put in my two cents and say that this is possibly the greatest idea since someone figured out that wrapping people in togas meant we didn’t have to look at ugly fat people anymore? I think that what American Idol‘s been lacking for the past few seasons is a sense of class and dignity, and Bret Michaels is practically synonymous with sophistication. This is a guy who dates multiple women at a time, including some who are strippers/like to offer shots of tequila out of their hoo-has. He clearly doesn’t settle for second-best, and that’s really what America (f*ck yeah!) needs right now. So cheers to you, Bret Michaels, the greatest judge since Paula Abdul; I can only assume that even with your various hemorrhages and strokes, you are still less brain-damaged than she is.

Category: American Idol, Bret Michaels, Moxie, Paula Abdul