The Situation Makes More Money Than Some Countries

Posted by Moxie on August 23rd, 2010

43806, SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY - Thursday August 19 2010. The Jersey Shore crew - Snooki, Mike, Deena and Pauly - take a walk on the boardwalk and go to the Amusement Park at Seaside Heights. The crew first went to the go-karts where a great battle ensued between Pauly D, Mike The Situation , Deena and Snooki. Pauly D finished first followed by Mike, Snooki and Deena. The foursome then took to the rollercoaster to do the loop-the-loop. Photograph: Wagner Az,

Today in “news that makes me so depressed I would kill myself if it didn’t mean my tens of thousands of dollars in student loans would revert back to my aging parents”: Mike “The Situation” Notgoingtobotherwithalastnameanymo’ is set to rake in $5,000,000 this year.

Yeah. That’s a 5 followed by not 4, not 5, but 6 zeros, which, coincidentally, is the same number of bullets in the gun I am going to use to blow my brains out why God whyyyyyy? Here’s how the moronic meathead is raking in money ab over steroid-shriveled dick:

1. almost $60K per episode of the Jersey Shore, after salary negotiations

2. appearance fees, which range from $15K to $50K

3. a metric fuckton of endorsement deals, including Reebok, Vitamin Water, a vodka line that he’ll own partially, a clothing line with Dilligaf, plus his own fitness video and vitamin supplement line

4. an iPhone “GTL” app and rap song sold through iTunes

5. possible roles in movies that don’t care about expiring faster than cottage cheese in the Sahara.

6. and my favorite – a book deal. For his autobiography.

A book deal for a guy who thinks Tolstoy is something you mix with cranberry juice and Rohypnol?! I hate myself for loving this show, I really do, and the only thing giving me solace is that I always stream it instead of contributing to its ratings by watching it on TV. But even still…

Category: Jersey Shore, Moxie, Reality TV, The Situation