10 Super Religious Celebrities

Posted by Rebecca on December 24th, 2010

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Well, we all know they’re crazy, right?  Here are a list of ten celebrities who rise from the fray of crazy religious fads to the status of weirdly uber-religious.

1. Tom Cruise

Of course, right? This cray cray Scientologist is like,  a level 5 wizard. I mean, he’s now a level Operating Thetan V11, whatever that means.  It probably means he can shoot lasers our of his nutsack, or will be taken in a spacecraft on his 50th birthday (thanks, Alien gods!).  Cruise is  Scientology’s most famous exponent, especially in recent years, because he’s given a LOT of money…uh, I mean, spirituality, to Scientology’s cause.

2. Mel Gibson

The Gib’s super Catholic, surprise surprise.  In fact, Gibson belongs to a Catholic sect that does not accept the reforms of the Vatican…which means he’s really, super duper traditionalist nutso catholic. According to Time Magazine, Gibson said, “Vatican II corrupted the institution of the church. Look at the main fruits: dwindling numbers and pedophilia.”  What about Holocaust denial? Where’s that in the canon of Catholicism?

3. Kirstie Alley

Kirstie Alley credits Scientology’s program Narconon (!! What a name!!!) with freeing her from cocaine addiction…and the shackles of being conventionally attractive.

4. Joe Liebermann

This crazy VP nominee is a super Orthodox Jew.  Know what that means? No pork, like EVER.  No, I’m serious. And you can’t eat milk with meat or go to church and stuff. I know, right?  Still, that rest on the Sabbath thing sounds mighty tempting…

5. Gladys Knight

Since Gladys Knight joined the mighty Church of Mormon, she credits her “inner light” to its nifty sense of spirituality.  I get wanting to be obedient to god, and abide by all that crap, but give up soda? REALLY?

6. Evangeline Lilly

She’s a super duper Protestant Christian.  Yeah,  I know…it totally solves the mystery of why she’s so buff. All that sexual frustration? Aggression? Take it out on the gym equipment, little lady…

7. Erika Christiansen

Don’t let her name deceive you (get it, huh huh).  This star of Parenthood and Traffic is a TOTAL scientologist.  Man, those tits are scientological bounty? No fair. Don’t they have enough assets…

8. Jim Caviezel

Yep, he played Christ in Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. Know what else? this actor is a devout Catholic.  Lucky us! He is quoted as saying, “Jesus is there for us in the Scriptures. How often do we ignore Him? We must shake off this indifference. Only the Faith and the wisdom of the Church can save us, but it requires men and women, warriors ready to risk their good names, even their very lives to stand up for the truth.”-FreeRepublic.com
9. Anne Rice

She went from Vampire writer to…super duper Christian.  Will she head back the way of the heathens? Only Jesus Christ, her savior, knows for sure.

10. Uma Thurman

Uma’s father, Robert Thurman, is the foremost Buddhist scholar in America. Dang!  And though she is in and out of practice, she credits Buddhism for making her the success (spiritually and within her career) that she is.  Dang. Go Buddhism?  All I learned from meditation was breathing.

Category: Celebrity Stupidity, Evangeline Lilly, Kirstie Alley, Lists, Tom Cruise, Uma Thurman